TV Detective World Series Round 1 - Caine Vs Batman

Another week, another battle between two of TV's greatest detectives! That's right, it's not just award winning events from The Murder Mystery Company - we like to discuss the important issues of the day! This time...

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This match pits a man who uses hi-tech gadgets and cheesy dialogue to solve a series of far fetched crimes perpetrated by ridiculous villains... against Batman.

That's right - CSI:Miami's finest Horatio Caine has drawn the Caped Crusader himself in the first round. Who wins? You decide...

Round One - Realism

Caine takes off his sunglasses, says a few words, puts them on again, says some more, then sits down with what could possibly be described as a smile. He is, after all, a scientist. Part of his job is to use modern forensic skills to bring murderers to book. He would never be guilty of overstepping the - oh hang on, what's this? A security tape of the victim, with the killer just out of shot? What are you going to do about that, Horatio? What? You're going to... zoom in on the victim and then enhance so much you can identify the killer by the reflection in the victim's eyeball? Oh, Horatio...

Batman predominantly targets Supervillains and their goons. While at first glance it may appear that this is not realistic, they are clearly defined as Supervillains. Who are we to judge how realistic or not those portrayals are? Exactly. We're no one. He's Batman.

Round Two - Way Of Speaking

Caine does a good job here. As the father of 'Sunglasses Punctuation', he likes to begin a sentence, pause while he puts on his sunglasses, and then deliver those last crucial words. The only drawback here is that he relies heavily on being set up by a good feeder line, usually supplied by Frank.

For example, at the aftermath of a shooting from a passing boat that targetted a series of Miami party goers, Frank opines that it looks like a drive-by. Caine's response?

"A drive-by", (puts on sunglasses), "Miami style".

Batman, on the other hand... puts in PAUSES at... random stages OF EACH sentence and... emphasises RANDOM WORDS for no discernible reason. He also uses the word 'criminal' as if it is a swear word. He is... LOVELY.

Round Three - Car

Caine is proud of his gas-guzzling General Motors Hummer, based on the military Humvee and capable of performing in excess of half a mile to the gallon. It is the perfect vehicle to transport him, his sunglasses and his fingerprint dusting kit from crime scene to crime scene.

Batman has the Batmobile. This round actually defaults to the caped crusader.

Final Round - Sidekick(s)

Caine surrounds himself with assistants, each bringing their own skills and abilities to the crime lab. Whether it is beautiful Calleigh Duquesne with her gun fetish, beautiful Dr Alexx Woods with her prepensity to talk to dead bodies and call them 'sweetie' or beautiful Tim Speedle with his inability to clean his gun properly leading to it jamming on him and him being shot dead, Caine has the team to do the job.

Oh dear, oh dear. After such a strong showing in the previous rounds, Batman has to face facts - no matter how he tries to dress it up, his sidekick is Robin. The judges clear their throats awkwardly and try to overstate the role played by Alfred the Butler, but the massive drag factor Robin puts on proceedings is evident and Batman accepts crushing defeat in this round.

So there you have it. Two extravagant figures of TV Detection, but which is the best? As ever, you decide. Voting closes in one month, on Friday 15th June.

In case you were concerned when reading the judges report that the author has predetermined which combatant is best, let us remind you of our fondness for and close relationship with CSI based television shows!

Add your votes above, your comments below, and as ever, feel free to check out what we do when we're not doing this.

Next Time...

TV Detective World Series Result - Fletcher vs Lewis

Well it was a cracking first round fight and started the TV Detective World Series off with a bang.

The voting is now closed, and it gives us great pleasure to announce the winner is...

Of course it was! With just more than three quarters of the vote, Fletcher goes through to the second round in comfort.

Lewis shouldn't be disheartened by this, and a quarter of the vote against such a contender as Fletcher is a very strong showing indeed.

On the day though, judges felt he was a little too functional, too obvious. A policeman doing his job is never going to compare with being a kindly old lady who writes mystery novels and solves murders in her spare time.

Some of the judges commented that before the next World Series Lewis would do well to flesh out his character, maybe take up hang gliding or move to Jersey and develop a drink problem. Or get an exotic pet. Or a pipe.

Or become a magician.

Fletcher on the other hand can now take a breather and study the results for the other first round matches as they come in. She may even have time to visit a friend and find one of their relatives mysteriously dies, the police are out of their depth and it really is down to her...

A big thank you to everyone who voted, and don't forget that our own love of Jessica Fletcher inspired us to create a brand new corporate event!

TV Detective World Series Round 1 - McNulty Vs Marple

At The Murder Mystery Company we continue to answer the important questions; what are our most popular murder mysteries? Have we won any awards recently? And, of course, which TV Detective is best.

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The third battle of the opening round of the TV Detective World Series pits one of England's most treasured icons against The Wire's most celebrated Baltimore PD Detective. Can gritty realism and bad language beat knowing one's airs and graces and being in the right place at the right time? Can being a functioning alcoholic trying to stay afloat in a sea of human villainy compare with the ability to remember a seemingly innocuous remark made during the opening five minutes, only to reveal it with a flourish at the climax?

You decide!

Round One - Cleaning Up The Streets Of West Baltimore

Drawing this round seems to be a stroke of luck for McNulty, who for years was employed to do just that. Over the years he had some successes, and ensured that several criminals were locked away. It’s not a perfect round for McNulty though - he would be the first to admit the streets are no cleaner, the cycle of crime and desperation continues and the game keeps on being played.

Despite her high scoring in a series of pre-tournament friendlies, Marple starts this match poorly. She has never even been to West Baltimore, preferring to spend the majority of her time in the quaint English village of St. Mary Mead. A poor start for the elderly detective.

Round Two - At The Dinner Table

McNulty looks shaky from the start of this round. Before even sitting down at the table he’s sheepishly tucked a shiny paper napkin into his unfastened shirt collar, causing eyebrows to rise throughout the arena. When he finally does sit down, he looks at the selection of cutlery available with fear.

Marple, on the other hand, knows exactly what to do in this situation. She expertly navigates her way from soup spoon to fish fork to salad fork without missing a single step.

Round Three - World Weary Cynicism

Whether he’s lamenting “they can’t do the right thing - it ain’t in em”, or simply remarking “they can chew you up, but they gotta spit you back out”, McNulty epitomises cynicism. And who can blame him? The drug and death riddled streets of West Baltimore are no place for a cheery outlook on life. In fact McNulty is SO cynical he doesn’t expect to win this round - it’s probably rigged.

Marple may appear every bit the kindly elderly woman from rural England, but don’t let that fool you. She has dealt with enough murderers in her time to give her a realistic outlook on the world around her. Afflicted with the curse of the amateur sleuth, it is impossible to coincidentally find oneself involved in so many murders without thinking fate is conspiring against you.

Final Round - Being A Kindly Old Lady

Disaster! McNulty can't believe his misfortune in drawing this round. Ever aware that it could have come up, as it has always been a staple of TV Detection, McNulty sinks back into his chair. After a brief exploration from the judges his worst fears are confirmed - McNulty is not, nor ever has been, a kindly old lady. He's not even a woman. A terrible performance on this round.

Marple on the other hand is one of the kindliest old ladies the judges have ever seen. From empathising with the most despicable of murderers to offering the vicar more tea when his cup is empty, Marple can only be fairly described as 'lovely'. But what's this? It appears that Miss Marple is getting a make over and is becoming 39 year old Jennifer Garner! The judges don't know where to look and Marple herself flushes with indignation as she prepares to move to New York and acquire some quirky singleton friends.

So there you have it. A strangely balanced battle between these two TV Detectives from different ends of the spectrum. Who wins? It's up to you. Vote above, comment below, and decide! As ever, voting closes in one month, on Saturday 26th May.

In the meantime, feel free to explore what we get up to when not adjudicating hypothetical face offs, from murder mystery parties to, well, even more murder mysteries!

Next time...

TV Detective World Series Round 1 - Fitz Vs Magnum

Here at The Murder Mystery Company we have been keeping track of the TV Detective World Series - it keeps us out of trouble when we are not running award winning murder mysteries! Round 1 continues in the tradition started by the face off between Jessica Fletcher and Inspector Lewis, so without further ado it's time to introduce the combatants:

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This match has been subject to massive speculation. Two heavyweights from different sides of the Atlantic meeting competitively for the first time...

Round One - Car

Fitz looks beaten from the outset of this round - and turning his head can just make out Magnum’s Ferrari parked outside; tactical parking from his opponent or just coincidence? Regardless, Fitz doesn’t drive, as he is almost permanently drunk, so prepares for defeat.

But what’s this? Despite Magnum driving around Hawaii in his iconic Ferrari 308GTS, closer examination of the registration documents shows that Magnum is not the owner - the car belongs to Robin Masters, Magnum’s ‘friend’, and he simply lends Magnum his car whenever he needs it. And his house. This means Fitz isn’t quite as beaten as he had feared, and Magnum is left blushing behind his perfectly sculpted moustache.

Round Two - Character Flaws

Everyone knows TV Detectives need character flaws to make them interesting, and Manchester based Fitz has them in spades; the obese, chain-smoking, adulterous alcoholic with a gambling addiction relaxes into a dominant position.

Magnum is a fair bit more clean living than Fitz. True, he once killed a chinese man for blinking, but on the whole his military background and frequent shows of friendship, loyalty and morality mean he is struggling to make headway in this round. Round Three - Being First Choice To Play Indiana Jones

A turn in fortune for Fitz sees him struggle in this round. Despite double checking, at Fitz’s insistance, with both George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, it turns out he was never first choice to play the iconic professor of archeology. He wasn’t even in the top five!

Magnum does quite well in this round, as he was Lucas's first choice to play Indiana Jones. In a wonderful display of commitment to being Magnum, Magnum refused! He even went on to create an Indy parody episode called Legend of the Lost Art to show how much better Indy would have been with a moustache (no better).

Final Round - Neatness of moustache

Fitz can’t believe his bad luck at drawing this as the final round, and turns to the bottle in dismay. Judges gather around and make sympathetic noises, but there’s no getting away from the simple facts; no matter how drunk Fitz is, or to what hour he was in back street casinos the night before, he is always clean shaven.

Magnum flashes his signature smile and basks in the glory of an easy win. Whether he is infiltrating a boat filled with hired goons, or pretending to be a butler to help Higgins out of a pickle, Magnum’s facial topiary is never called into question.

Conclusion

They have different styles, different skill sets, different girths and different amounts of facial hair. But who wins this round of the TV Detective World Series? It's over to you. As ever, voting is open for one month so will close on Monday 22nd May 2012.

It is statistically unlikely that your life depends on the outcome of this vote, but just in case it does... get voting!

Next Time...

Can't wait a week before your next hit? Take a look at our main site for all your murder mystery needs!

TV Detective World Series Round 1 - Fletcher vs Lewis

What with all the fuss about the Olympics, we at The Murder Mystery Company almost forgot one other significant tournament was playing out this year (has it really been twelve years?!) It's the TV Detective World Series! Obviously we are going to be watching this one closely - we even designed an event that celebrates this most wonderful of genres.

We need YOU to vote on the outcome. The TV Detective World Series is a democracy, with the viewing public deciding the victor in each round.

Round One - Match One

Vote Now!

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The 'Murder, She Wrote' star enters this first round the clear favourite; with 244 solved murders under her belt she is hoping to make short work of Morse’s sidekick.

Of course Lewis was hoping for an easier first round. In fact talk around the dressing rooms suggested he fancied cutting his teeth against a Bergerac, or maybe even whoever was in Taggart after Taggart died. Of course Fletcher is one of the favourites coming in, but he knows that he was always going to have to face her eventually if he wants to get anywhere in this competition.

Lewis is hoping that after 33 episodes under his old boss Morse, and 20 with his own show, he has enough procedural experience to win the day.

Opening Round - Not Having A First Name

Fletcher takes an early knock with this one - everyone knows the name Jessica Fletcher, whether it's in the way her friends talk to her while she investigates a mysterious death, or on the cover of her countless mystery novels.

Lewis fares better, having been called ‘Lewis’ since primary school. However this is not a whitewash for him, as closer examination does show that he occasionally mentions his first name, which is Robert.

Round Two - Interfering

Fletcher comes back from the break fighting - nobody sticks their oar in where it is (initially) not wanted more than her. True, she invariably goes on to solve the murder, but that’s not before rubbing local law enforcement up the wrong way with her constant meddling.

Lewis, who is employed by Oxford Police Force as a Detective Sergeant and later Inspector, only interferes in an official capacity, so it’s a poor show for him this round.

Round Three - Uniqueness

Fletcher has no trouble dominating this round. She is an elderly woman who writes mystery novels, while in real life people in her extended social circle are being murdered by the dozen, forcing this fiction writer to flex her problem solving mind and catch the culprit... more than 200 times.

Lewis starts this round strongly, claiming an interest in the classics, real ale and opera. Then he remembers that was actually Morse. Flustered, he makes an amateur's mistake and falls back on ‘being a policeman’. This is lost under the undeniable uniqueness of Fletcher.

Round Four - The Show Title Just Being Your Surname

Fletcher takes a significant knock in this round, as not a single one of her 244 episodes was called 'Fletcher' - in fact each were called 'Murder, She Wrote'. Although Fletcher is the 'she' referred to in the title, there is no getting away from a poor showing on the day.

Lewis on the other hand plays a blinder. Even his former boss had to share title card space with the word 'Inspector', but Lewis goes title free and goes straight to surname. Not since Peter Falk stepped up to defend his title in 1988 has a contestant entered this round with the same confidence. But is it a case of too little too late for the Oxford crime solver?

The Result

It's too close to call. What the pundits predicted would be a whitewash for the 'elderly stateswoman' of TV Detection turned into an all-out battle for sleuthing supremacy. It's gone to the judges table, so now it's time for you to decide. Add your cheer-leading cries to the comments below, and get voting!

Voting closes one month from today, Monday 14th May 2012. In the meantime check out our main website for murder mystery evenings, days and other resources.

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